Christian recording artist, author and speaker, Tammy Trent, joins Molly Messer to candidly share her testimony of the power of God’s restoration, healing, and hope after the tragic death of her husband while on a mission trip. After stepping away from her career for a year, Tammy returned to the stage as a featured speaker and performer at the Extraordinary Women’s Conference and subsequently joined both the Women of Faith Tour for 4 years and The Revolve Tour for teen girls for 2 years. Her bold decision to transparently share her testimony changed the trajectory of her life and career as she has ministered to women of all ages across the globe. In this interview, Tammy shares her journey and how God’s love and faithfulness can bring healing in any circumstance. For more information about Tammy, her music, books and tour information visit www.tammytrent.com.
Photo credit: www.tammytrent.com
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Learning to Fly
I love watching things “happen” in nature. When I owned a home, I planted various types of trees, shrubs and flowering plants in my yard to attract wildlife, particularly butterflies and birds. Outside my kitchen window, I strategically placed bird feeders and nectar plants so that I could see any activity from my vantage point next to the sink. During the winter months, when all of the birds migrated down to Florida from the north, the feeders were particularly busy. I would watch various species of birds come and go as the months passed. Being a biologist to the core, each time I spotted something I didn’t recognize, I pulled out my bird field guide to identify it. One of the more common species of bird that I used to see at my feeders were red cardinals. Without fail every winter and sometimes throughout the summer, I saw at least one pair consistently at the feeder. One season, I watched a pair for what seemed like months come and go to the feeders. Then one day, in a small flowering tree a few feet from the feeder, I noticed an unfamiliar face. It looked like a cardinal, but it was ruffled and somewhat chunky. It only took a minute or two for me to realize that it was a young fledgling, waiting as its mother went to the feeder and returned with seed. The fledgling wasn’t quite able to fly yet, so it awkwardly jumped from branch to branch working its way around. I could hardly contain the excitement I felt seeing this new addition to the “neighborhood” and felt honored that God would let me watch the interaction between the mother and the young fledgling. Over the next few days and weeks, I eagerly watched through the kitchen window looking for more signs of the fledgling’s development. I saw the male and female cardinal come to the feeder and the fledgling become more familiar with its wings. One day, I noticed the male cardinal fly up to my neighbor’s roof, which was just beyond the fence where the feeder was hanging – about 15-20 feet above the ground. I watched for what seemed like forever as the fledgling made over a dozen feeble attempts to follow. Eventually, it was able to “stair step” its way up to the roof through a series of short flying bursts on shrubs and branches resting as it slowly worked its way up to meet the male cardinal. Once the fledgling made it to the roof, the male cardinal began to display an unusual behavior. He went to the backside of the pitched roof and jumped straight up into the wind, which was gusting over the peak. While in the air, being buffeted by the wind, he flapped his wings several times to maintain vertical height and then dropped back down on the backside of the peak. I was intrigued about this display and became even more interested in watching as I had never seen that type of behavior before. The male cardinal repeated this behavior several times in a row while the young fledgling rested on the roof nearby. To my surprise, the fledgling began to imitate the behavior of the male cardinal; jumping up, flapping its wings in the wind that was gusting over the peak of the roof and then dropping back down. In one of those “Ah-ha!” moments, I realized what was happening; the male cardinal was teaching the fledgling how to fly by using the wind to strengthen its wings. Just as I came to the realization of what I was seeing, the female cardinal arrived at the “training ground”; resting and watching. Wow! I felt as if I was visually eavesdropping on the cardinal family, but at the same time, I was completely overwhelmed by the privilege of seeing this important step toward the fledgling learning to fly. What an amazing picture of how God strengthens us in our faith! As “fledgling” Christians, we work hard to simply balance and get used to the wings that we have received from Christ. As with the fledgling, we have within us an innate knowledge that they have a greater purpose; we know that we are meant to really fly. As we face trials and difficulties in life, we look to other Christians who are “older” in the faith to mentor us and show us how to fly. However, we not only learn by watching, but also by doing. Each time the gusting winds of trial blow across the roof, we are tested in our faith. That testing requires that we use all of the strength we can muster; jumping up and facing the wind head-on. Still, the strength that we have within us is not enough. It may help us to take flight initially but we need “God-sized strength” to carry us through the long journey of life. We do not have strength within us to gain the altitude that God intended for us to have. The ability to soar to new heights can only come from Him. The prophet Isaiah, proclaimed God’s wisdom and truth to the people of Israel during a very stormy time in history. In Isaiah 40, he speaks of the sovereignty of God, but also of the strength that the Lord provides to those who put their hope in Him. “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; whey will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:29-31 Isaiah Chapter 40 is entitled “Comfort for God’s people” and what a comfort it is to know that when we are tired and weary, that our strength will be renewed by simply “hoping” in the Lord. As we face the inevitable gusting winds of trials in our lives, we must test our wings by facing them head-on and hoping in the Lord. He is the only one that will give us the strength we need to soar to heights beyond our own expectations.
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Rays of Light
On a Sunday afternoon several years ago, I went to the beach for my church’s beach baptism. The event seemed like a perfect opportunity to get in some long past due snorkeling time, so I got to the beach an hour or so beforehand to spend some time alone in the water. Some things had been weighing heavily on my mind and heart and I needed some time to search for peace.
Being a marine biologist, snorkeling and diving gives me great joy. There are very few things I find more peaceful than gliding through the water listening to the rhythmic sound of life eminating from the creatures of the ocean. I feel as though I am in my element.
This particular beach is one of my favorite snorkeling spots because drifting with the strong current as it sweeps parallel with the shore can give you the sensation of flying through the water. The currents and water clarity often attract a greater variety of creatures than would be typically found in the water off a beach.
In great anticipation of my “water time”, I put on my fins and headed out to deeper water where the lush seagrass carpets the bottom. I swam south against the current so that farther up the beach I could turn around and drift with the current back to where I started.
One of the most magnificent things that I had ever seen at this beach was a school of 5 spotted eagle rays; but that was years ago and although schooling fish may frequent an area for awhile, their transient nature left no guarantees of repeat performances. Still, each time I snorkeled there, I hoped that I might see some again.
This particular day while snorkeling, I saw some interesting things; a jawfish tidying up the “front porch” of its burrow, an urchin with unusually artistic camouflage composed of sponges and coral, and quite a few snappers darting around. Knowing that I had limited time to spend in the water, I looked impatiently for something really fantastic before I had to get out, but it didn’t show up.
Feeling disappointment setting in, I turned around and started to head back to shore; drifting with the current and taking my time to look around as I “flew” over the seagrass. Although the snorkeling was a good distraction, my heart was still weighed down with burden. I prayed that God would make His presence known to me; I really needed to feel Him close that day.
With those eagle rays in the back of my mind, I challenged God to show Himself to me in a clear and tangible way. In my mind I told Him that I needed to see Him in THAT specific way, “…let me see an eagle ray today God.”
I continued on my way back to shore getting into shallower waters, where one would not typically see an eagle ray; not believing that God would actually rise to the challenge. The closer I got to shore, the more disappointed I felt. “God, you let me down again.” I complained in my heart.
Then, just a few minutes after I prayed, I looked to my left and saw a “poof” in the seagrass below and a trail of bubbles heading north, running with the current. This was a tell-tale sign that something was just there, so I started to look for it. I followed the trail a bit and as I looked ahead of me, I saw it; an eagle ray! I began to follow it, drinking in its graceful, seemingly effortless movement through the water. Suspended in the current, I watched in awe when suddenly another one came up next to me on the left and followed the first one, heading down current.
Now I was really excited, and as I continued to swim with the first one, the second one banked off to the left. As I watched the second eagle ray turn away, I saw yet ANOTHER eagle ray at the edge of the visibility zone, turning around and heading south into the current! Giving a couple of swift kicks, I followed the first one that I spotted for a little bit longer as it swam off into the distance.
That day, I challenged God and at the point when my unbelief began to overwhelm me, He showed me how weak my faith was. In those moments of disappointment, I gave up on God, but He did not give up on me. Instead, God made His presence known to me in a very real and personal way. Not only had He given me the gift of one eagle ray, but He delighted me with the presence of three; the perfect number to drive His point home. God, the Father, was with me and He reminded me with the the second and third eagle rays that Jesus, His Son, and the Holy Spirit were there as well. Those three eagle rays were like rays of sunlight into my troubled world, rejuvenating my weary soul.
I was amazed and stunned at the goodness of God, as if I didn’t already know about it. Once again, He made me keenly aware of how deeply He loves me by showing me a glimpse of His glory. As I watched that last eagle ray disappear into the blue-green landscape, I could see praise trailing from its wingtips as it “flew” through the water.
I believe that if God were to show us all of the incredible things about Himself, we would be crippled and blinded by the sight. Instead, God shows us His glory in glimpses, so that we might get just a taste of how awesome He is.
“Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is that man who takes refuge in him.” Psalm 34:8
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Mental Illness and Stigma
I have bipolar disorder (manic depressive illness) and am very open and transparent about it. It is not a character defect, it is a brain illness. Yet, society still looks upon mental illness with condescension and judgment. This is wrong.
While I realize that I may not be able to change the world by writing one blog, I can try to change some of that stigma by sharing some of my own thoughts – from the perspective of someone who has a mental illness.
First of all, the key to shifting the paradigm of societal misperceptions about mental illness is to recognize the very simple truth that, in most cases, it is caused by a natural dysfunction of the brain. The brain is an organ in our bodies, as are the heart, lungs, liver, and pancreas. It is the ONE organ that the medical field understands the least yet, it controls everything about us; our speech, our behavior, our thought process, our physical movement, and our emotions. Herein lies part of the problem, because the brain controls these vital parts of our lives, we see the symptoms in a way that causes others to fear, to judge, and to misunderstand.
With that fact in mind – that mental illness is actually a “brain” illness – here is an analogy that may provide a little insight. Imagine that I have cirrhosis of the liver and that everyone could see that diseased organ. A diseased liver is a hideous sight, so most people would automatically be uncomfortable, repulsed, look away, and perhaps be fearful of me; they would perhaps focus on how it looks more than what I have. No one (except a doctor or coroner) wants to see such a horrible thing – it is uncomfortable, it evokes emotions that are negative and eventually results in a negative response from people.
How is a brain illness different? You may be able to come up with all sorts of reasons why, but here is more food for thought. Think about what types of brain illness are considered more “socially acceptable” – Alzheimer’s, dementia, PTSD, autism, ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia, Traumatic Brain Illness, and learning disabilities. In response to these examples, one might say they cannot help it; “something” caused those brain illnesses.
“Something” also causes brain illnesses such as depression, anxiety disorders, bipolar disorder, mood disorders, schizophrenia and various other types of mental illnesses. Although not completely understood, they are recognized by the medical field to be caused or influenced by things such as genetics, trauma, natural changes in brain chemistry and substance abuse. Again I ask, how are these different from the “socially acceptable” brain illnesses that are referenced above?
Like it or not, society must begin to recognize mental illness for what it is – an illness of the brain. I recognize that stigma about mental illness exists and will for some time, but it is only by being transparent and informing others about it that this stigma will be reduced.
People who do not have a brain illness, will never fully understand, but are those who do have such illnesses beyond some level of human compassion? Everyone is affected by mental illness, either directly or indirectly themselves, through a relationship or just by the “strange” person wandering the streets lost in their own mind. Many people with brain illnesses do not have a voice simply because they are so ill, which is why it is so important to be a voice for them.
Finally, consider this. Many of the things that we experience and have today, would not exist were it not for people with brain illnesses. You see, people with some of these conditions also have an amazing ability to create, to write, to compose, to imagine the impossible, and to think critically – to change and affect society in positive ways. Here a just a few people with mental illness who have contributed to life as we know it:
POETS
Emily Dickinson
T.S. Elliot
Victor Hugo
Walt Whitman
Edgar Allen PoeWRITERS
Hans Christian Anderson
John Bunyan
Charles Dickens
Isak Dinesen
Ralph Waldo Emerson
William Faulkner
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Herman Melville
Tennessee Williams
Ernest HemingwayCOMPOSERS/MUSICIANS
Sergey Rachmaninoff
Peter Tchaikovski
Irving Berlin
Cole Porter
Elton JohnARTISTS
Vincent Van Gogh
Paul Gauguin
Michelangelo
Georgia O’Keeffe
Jackson PollackOTHERS
Leonardo Da Vinci
Isaac Newton
Abraham Lincoln
Charles Darwin
Thomas Edison
Albert Einstein
Walt Disney
Buzz Aldrin
Robin WilliamsSo, the next time you think of “mental” illness, think of some of these people and the contribution that they have made to our world. God created them in an amazing way so that they can help us see and understand our world in unique and wonderful ways.
Would you show them any less respect? Would you turn away if one of them were someone that you loved? Would you reach out to them if they were on the verge of committing suicide or carrying out a horrific act? Would you have any less compassion for them? My prayer is that the answer is no.
If you have a mental illness, you have probably experienced stigma, as have I. My opinion is this, if someone places stigma on me because of my mental illness, then he or she probably should not be around me; I don’t want that to interfere with how I live my life. Just like any other human being, I deserve compassion and acceptance, not judgment and disdain. This will likely result in people I love and care about turning away from me because they do not understand.
I will not allow that to bring me down, cause me question God as to why He made me this way, or think less of myself. I have lived that life and refuse to do so anymore. I am unique, wonderful and worth knowing and loving – with or without my illness.
Psalm 139:13: “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it.”
