God

Unsinkable

Many years ago, I asked my mother how she decided on my name.  In great anticipation, I waited for some profound meaning or story. Instead, the answer was a disappointment.  “Oh, I don’t remember! You were the 4th kid!” My heart sank. Even my own mother couldn’t remember what was special about my name.

Still, I wondered about the answer to that question. So, during a conversation with my dad, I mentioned this encounter and my disappointment with my mother’s response. He immediately said, “Well, I named you! Maybe that’s why she doesn’t remember.” Then to my surprise and great pleasure, in an emboldened voice, he said, “I named you after the ‘Unsinkable’ Molly Brown!” My dad knew my story!

Determined to find more information about the “unsinkable” Molly Brown, I did a little research. I discovered that Margaret “Molly” Brown was one of the survivors from the Titanic. She was on Lifeboat 6 (the third lifeboat to launch from the sinking ship) that was filled with women, a Pomeranian and a ship’s quartermaster.  As the story goes, she took control of the boat after the crewman lost hope of survival. She was said to have been a strong willed and spunky woman who’s “never say die” efforts were crucial to the survival of those in Lifeboat 6.  There are several tales about the notorious “unsinkable” title; however, it would not be a stretch to say that anyone surviving the sinking of the Titanic is a miracle.

As it turns out, the having such a namesake is quite appropriate for me, given the difficulties that I have faced in my life. In spite of it all, I have somehow overcome; I have, in fact, been “unsinkable”.  As much as I would like to say that I have a strong-will and “never say die” attitude like Molly Brown, I can’t.  I am easily discouraged and quick to claim that the situation as “hopeless”.  In truth, I am actually quite “sinkable” but I have the best life preserver that a human can have; God.

One might say that it’s an interesting coincidence between the everyday struggles that have required me to be “unsinkable” and the notorious nickname, but I don’t believe in coincidences.  I believe in God-incidences and that is exactly what my name is about – God’s claim on my life, before I was even born.

Just as my earthly father knows the story of how I got my name, my heavenly Father knows the story of my life. The amazing part of that revelation is that not only does my heavenly Father know my story, but he knew it before I was born.  He knew what lay ahead in my life and that my discovering such significance in my name would come at just the right time – when I needed to be reminded.

“You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest…You both precede and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head…You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb…You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”   Psalm 139:3, 5, 13, 16 (NLT)

Tammy Trent – Triumph Through Tragedy

Christian recording artist, author and speaker, Tammy Trent, joins Molly Messer to candidly share her testimony of the power of God’s restoration, healing, and hope after the tragic death of her husband while on a mission trip. After stepping away from her career for a year, Tammy returned to the stage as a featured speaker and performer at the Extraordinary Women’s Conference and subsequently joined both the Women of Faith Tour for 4 years and The Revolve Tour for teen girls for 2 years. Her bold decision to transparently share her testimony changed the trajectory of her life and career as she has ministered to women of all ages across the globe. In this interview, Tammy shares her journey and how God’s love and faithfulness can bring healing in any circumstance.  For more information about Tammy, her music, books and tour information visit www.tammytrent.com

 

Photo credit: www.tammytrent.com

Learning to Fly

I love watching things “happen” in nature. When I owned a home, I planted various types of trees, shrubs and flowering plants in my yard to attract wildlife, particularly butterflies and birds.  Outside my kitchen window, I strategically placed bird feeders and nectar plants so that I could see any activity from my vantage point next to the sink. During the winter months, when all of the birds migrated down to Florida from the north, the feeders were particularly busy. I would watch various species of birds come and go as the months passed. Being a biologist to the core, each time I spotted  something I didn’t recognize, I pulled out my bird field guide to identify it.  One of the more common species of bird that I used to see at my feeders were red cardinals. Without fail every winter and sometimes throughout the summer, I saw at least one pair consistently at the feeder. One season, I watched a pair for what seemed like months come and go to the feeders.  Then one day, in a small flowering tree a few feet from the feeder, I noticed an unfamiliar face. It looked like a cardinal, but it was ruffled and somewhat chunky. It only took a minute or two for me to realize that it was a young fledgling, waiting as its mother went to the feeder and returned with seed. The fledgling wasn’t quite able to fly yet, so it awkwardly jumped from branch to branch working its way around. I could hardly contain the excitement I felt seeing this new addition to the “neighborhood” and felt honored that God would let me watch the interaction between the mother and the young fledgling. Over the next few days and weeks, I eagerly watched through the kitchen window looking for more signs of the fledgling’s development. I saw the male and female cardinal come to the feeder and the fledgling become more familiar with its wings. One day, I noticed the male cardinal fly up to my neighbor’s roof, which was just beyond the fence where the feeder was hanging – about 15-20 feet above the ground.  I watched for what seemed like forever as the fledgling made over a dozen feeble attempts to follow. Eventually, it was able to “stair step” its way up to the roof through a series of short flying bursts on shrubs and branches resting as it slowly worked its  way up to meet the male cardinal. Once the fledgling made it to the roof, the male cardinal began to display an unusual behavior. He went to the backside of the pitched roof and jumped straight up into the wind, which was gusting over the peak. While in the air, being buffeted by the wind, he flapped his wings several times to maintain vertical height and then dropped back down on the backside of the peak. I was intrigued about this display and became even more interested in watching as I had never seen that type of behavior before.   The male cardinal repeated this behavior several times in a row while the young fledgling rested on the roof nearby. To my surprise, the fledgling began to imitate the behavior of the male cardinal; jumping up, flapping its wings in the wind that was gusting over the peak of the roof and then dropping back down. In one of those “Ah-ha!” moments, I realized what was happening; the male cardinal was teaching the fledgling how to fly by using the wind to strengthen its wings. Just as I came to the realization of what I was seeing, the female cardinal arrived at the “training ground”; resting and watching. Wow! I felt as if I was visually eavesdropping on the cardinal family, but at the same time, I was completely overwhelmed by the privilege of seeing this important step toward the fledgling learning to fly. What an amazing picture of how God strengthens us in our faith!  As “fledgling” Christians, we work hard to simply balance and get used to the wings that we have received from Christ. As with the fledgling, we have within us an innate knowledge that they have a greater purpose; we know that we are meant to really fly. As we face trials and difficulties in life, we look to other Christians who are “older” in the faith to mentor us and show us how to fly. However, we not only learn by watching, but also by doing. Each time the gusting winds of trial blow across the roof, we are tested in our faith. That testing requires that we use all of the strength we can muster; jumping up and facing the wind head-on.  Still, the strength that we have within us is not enough. It may help us to take flight initially but we need “God-sized strength” to carry us through the long journey of life. We do not have strength within us to gain the altitude that God intended for us to have. The ability to soar to new heights can only come from Him. The prophet Isaiah, proclaimed God’s wisdom and truth to the people of Israel during a very stormy time in history. In Isaiah 40, he speaks of the sovereignty of God, but also of the strength that the Lord provides to those who put their hope in Him. “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; whey will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:29-31 Isaiah Chapter 40 is entitled “Comfort for God’s people” and what a comfort it is to know that when we are tired and weary, that our strength will be renewed by simply “hoping” in the Lord.  As we face the inevitable gusting winds of trials in our lives, we must test our wings by facing them head-on and hoping in the Lord. He is the only one that will give us the strength we need to soar to heights beyond our own expectations.

Riding the Tides of Bipolar

I have been fascinated with the sea for as long as I can remember. So much so, that at the age of 4, I proclaimed to my dad that I would be a marine biologist when I grew up. I am not sure that he remembered that moment, but my proclamation became a reality by the time I was 21.

The ocean is rich in every way imaginable, but lately; it has been the cyclical tides that have me the most captivated. What a better way to describe the shifting moods of bipolar disorder; the mental illness that I live with daily?

Although the ocean tides seem predictable, they are not. They vary in intensity and height based on location, time of year and situation. They are not the same everywhere. Tides are much more complex than one would think, as is bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder was formerly known as manic-depressive illness, which in some ways is a more accurate description. The term bipolar is deceiving because it implies that there are just two parts to it – the high and the low. However, what many do not know is that there are an infinite number of degrees between the two.

Much like the tides of the ocean, there are always cycles in bipolar and while there may seem to be a beginning and end, there are many stages between. The connections between the highs and lows are complex and manifest in different ways in different people.  The full cycle while similar is seldom the same, even in the very same person.

Lately, the tides of my illness have brought me to a level that I have never experienced – “rapid cycling” and “mixed” episodes. Of course, I have been through cycles of the highs and lows, but up until recently, rapid cycles and mixed episodes were not a part of the reality of my illness; or maybe I was too stressed in my life to really notice.

For me, rapid cycles entail multiple tidal shifts in one day, sometimes just hours apart. If there could be a benefit to rapid cycling, it is that I can count on the tide to shift relatively quickly; all I have to do is hang on until it turns.

Mixed episodes include the depression of the lows “mixed” with the impulsiveness of the highs. There are very few benefits of mixed episodes; they are the most deadly times for anyone with this illness. My own recent experience with these types of episodes has solidified this fact in my own mind. Truthfully, I have never, ever had to fight more to keep myself alive than in the darkest moments of these tidal shifts.

So, when the rushing tides of this illness sweep through my life, I know that my own strength is simply not enough to hold on – I absolutely need God. The fact that I have bipolar disorder will never change but as I ride the tides, I find hope in knowing that God will also never change.  He is always with me, even when I cannot see Him; it’s just that sometimes fighting the tides causes me to forget.

I am also learning to accept that there will be some times that are more difficult for me than others. In spite of that, I have a renewed hope.  I have come to believe that God designed me for a very specific purpose – to provide some level of understanding and acceptance where others may not have the same insight.

For those who are riding the tides of bipolar or another mood disorder, I encourage you to seek out help and support, as often and as much as necessary. KNOW that God loves you equally as much in the dark times as in the light. He is always there right by your side, even when you cannot see Him.  He has a plan for your life and it is one of great significance that cannot be completed without you.  So hold on when the tides shift – there is hope.

“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there you hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.” ~ Psalm 139:7-10

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